Growing in Grace
This was an unposted draft from earlier this year. As I read it, I realize how very gentle He is with me. I'm not sure what the remainder of this year holds for us, but I anticipate a trip to China and a baby sister before your next check-up.
March 23, 2014
Well, this week was our highly anticipated, yearly trip to the cardiologist. You were so inquisitive and asked many questions…beginning tuesday of Last week. I reminded you of all the previous visits and we looked at pictures confirming there would be only smiles at this Dr.'s visit. No vaccinations to anticipate, (and yes…I tell you every time. No…you do not like to hear it…but you trust me more because of it.) , no sticks in the throat etc.. The last visit was when you were cleared for yearly visits. I was overwhelmed and amazed at how relieving this was. They were seeing that you were growing and thriving and there were no changes to your heart that would cause you to need more care than what you were receiving. We rejoiced in that unexpected blessing!
This day was another great report. Your thriving and growing. Your heart is supporting your growth and development and you were cleared for another unrestricted year. A year to be all that your little 5 going on 6 self can be. There were more questions this time. More language means more questions. Like…."why my shirt off?" "can I have stickers for Pooh?" "I need that thing for Pooh's heart (paper robe)". You also asked the Dr. for the first time what her name was….instead of worrying so much about what is she going to do to you. You were so brave and trusting. There was also the gentle reminder from the Dr. that your special heart would one day need a valve. We have had this conversation before, but this time she was comfortable telling me that she felt that, for you, it would likely be when you were in High School. I must admit, I wasn't really prepared for an ETA. But as we left and that was soaking in, God was reminding me of where we started. And how little we really knew about your heart and the growing of our faith in that unknown. And so we were
leaving and there was more dialogue about your visit and more questions…."mama, why go to heart doctor?"…..(because God made your heart special.)……"why God make my heart special?"………………………………..(so I could be your momma)…and so He could rescue you from a life without the love of a family and so He could continue to rescue me from a life of selfishness and self centeredness.
Thank you Father, for your relentless pursuit of my heart and for growing us in such grace.
Well, this week was our highly anticipated, yearly trip to the cardiologist. You were so inquisitive and asked many questions…beginning tuesday of Last week. I reminded you of all the previous visits and we looked at pictures confirming there would be only smiles at this Dr.'s visit. No vaccinations to anticipate, (and yes…I tell you every time. No…you do not like to hear it…but you trust me more because of it.) , no sticks in the throat etc.. The last visit was when you were cleared for yearly visits. I was overwhelmed and amazed at how relieving this was. They were seeing that you were growing and thriving and there were no changes to your heart that would cause you to need more care than what you were receiving. We rejoiced in that unexpected blessing!
This day was another great report. Your thriving and growing. Your heart is supporting your growth and development and you were cleared for another unrestricted year. A year to be all that your little 5 going on 6 self can be. There were more questions this time. More language means more questions. Like…."why my shirt off?" "can I have stickers for Pooh?" "I need that thing for Pooh's heart (paper robe)". You also asked the Dr. for the first time what her name was….instead of worrying so much about what is she going to do to you. You were so brave and trusting. There was also the gentle reminder from the Dr. that your special heart would one day need a valve. We have had this conversation before, but this time she was comfortable telling me that she felt that, for you, it would likely be when you were in High School. I must admit, I wasn't really prepared for an ETA. But as we left and that was soaking in, God was reminding me of where we started. And how little we really knew about your heart and the growing of our faith in that unknown. And so we were
leaving and there was more dialogue about your visit and more questions…."mama, why go to heart doctor?"…..(because God made your heart special.)……"why God make my heart special?"………………………………..(so I could be your momma)…and so He could rescue you from a life without the love of a family and so He could continue to rescue me from a life of selfishness and self centeredness.
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